Friday, August 11, 2006

Believe it or not...

... I miss Munich airport.

I'm sure George and Lamberto will complain, but they'll also have to agree with me that Milan Malpensa is kind of a disgusting mess. And the day after an attempted terrorist attack, it's that much worse. Basically these terrorists have succeeded if they feel that part of the terror of flying is smelling badly (my deodorant was confiscated), having really bad dragon breath (my mini toothpaste was also taken), or having your eyes glued shut if you fall asleep with your contacts in (they took my contact lens solution). And yes, I am overcome with fear.

Even little Otopeni airport in Bucharest was crazy this morning, with very slow check-in and long security lines at 6am. But the true fun awaited me upon arrival in Milan, where I waited in a 2 hour line to get to the connecting flight area. I managed to sneak my way through the line faster than I probably should have without making any enemies. Which is lucky because several impressive fights broke out, mostly between large women. Everyone is trying to be patient and understanding, but nerves started to wear understandably thin.

No explanation for the long wait - though we all knew the reason - and after nearly two hours squashed in a disorganized "line" (more like a mass of bodies) I found myself walking through one of just six x-ray machines. Because "Chicago" is listed as my next destination, I was taken aside to a cozy nook where a handsome Italian guard pawed through my smelly socks which weren't meant to see the light of day until after emerging from the washing machine in La Jolla. Don't you love it when handsome Italians go through your nasty dirty laundry? It's my favorite.

So now I'm sitting at a cafe and on my third attempt I got the wireless going (again, I miss you Munich - you and your weird flat hotdogs! and my favorite cafe!) I have decided to let you all know what fun awaits you if you decide to travel to the US during these "liquid bomb" times.

Oh one interesting thing Handsome Italian told me is that I had the option to try to SELL my things that were being confiscated! Can you imagine? A half-used Dove deodorant (hmmm Spring Fresh! - excellent vintage), a mini bottle of eye drops, a small bottle of contact lens solution (clearly the most valuable item), and the tiniest ever tube of Rembrandt toothpaste.

I will start the bidding at 3 euro. Any takers?

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