Sunday, December 04, 2005

A to the B to the Pizzle!

I have spent nearly all day writing my final paper for Analysis of Business Problems. I started crunching numbers with Madhur (thank you Madhur!!!) on Wednesday, thank goodness... some people were just starting that this morning. Now I think I've finished, more or less, and all that's left to do is polish it up a bit, flesh out the executive summary, spend an hour freaking out thinking I did it all wrong and should make the opposite conclusion from what I've chosen, get over it, do a little "I feel better dance," print it out, and do a little "I'm done with my paper" dance. Oh and then start the cases for Monday.

I did take a break from the paper this evening, for a couple of hours. Having worked in a room at IESE from 10 to 6, I needed to get away from it for a while. During said break, I showed Huy and George, which is a fake Google that uses Snoop-speak. (That's Snoop Doggy Dogg, for those of you who don't know him personally. Also known as Mr. Doggy Dizzle.) You can put any website into the Gizoogle search bar and it will translate that website into Snoop-speak. It's the actual website, just ... better. Try putting in, for instance. You laugh. You'll cry. You'll suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to Crip-walk and drink Courvoisier out of a goblet.

Gizoogle also offers translation services. Turn any corporate letter, public service announcement, press release, or thank you note into Snoop-speak in a matter of seconds!

Here, for instance, is a translation of part of my ABP paper:

If we pursue tha contract unda tha current allocation of production resources, tha new price requested by Asiacar will create a loss of €7.005M. Chillin' tha possible alternative measures, hustla n cutt'n costs in gangsta areas can hizzay alleviate this issue . It dont stop till the wheels fall off. The first option is ta cut direct labor costs n corporate overheezees tizzy were imposed by Morgan upon baller of Plasticom like old skool shit. As this contract was agreed upon before Morgan’s involvement in tha company, it is unreasonable ta now suddenly impose Morgan’s financial requirizzles upon a contract wit ciznost structures that were put in place prior ta Morgan’s ownership. Thus we can strike from tha budget tha additional €300,000 in direct labor costs n tha €3.2M in corporate overheezees. (It's nice that Snoop still uses "thus," don't you think?)

Huy mentioned he would like to turn his paper in like this, and you know, I think it's important that we occasionally look at these cases from the point of view of the homeys, even if they are completely unrelated. Huy, I back you up, my nizzle!

1 comment:

noahstone said...

Gizoogle rocks. Here's a paragrafizzle from my blog:

Someone told me today that tha corneal F-L-to-tha-izzap made sippin' LASIK surgery cracka heals crazy up in here. I've bizzy clockin' nightmares that I dislodge a fizzy doing sum-m sum-m stupid, i.e. pimpin' compressed air from a can directly into mah eye (this is a dream, cracka cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. I searched online n accord'n ta every source, includ'n tha FDA , but not includ'n tha TLC Shot Calla Centa's website, this is tha case. The fizzy neva really heals mah nizzle. In fact, should one need followup LASIK surgery, a new flap will not be created. The doctor simply pulls tha old one back with the S-N-double-O-P.